I recently read the phrase ‘wanker magnet’ which was used by someone in relation to an article about people being drawn to London, London living(?) and the exorbitant prices for accommodation….anyhoo I digress, as that article has nothing to do with this one I’m writing or maybe in some way it does, whatever, I just loved the phrase/label ‘wanker magnet’!!! It did make me chuckle in a remarkably childish manner!
WANKER MAGNET!! Haha saying it makes me grin like the crazy Cheshire Cat!! WANKER MAGNET!!! Something I have been guilty of being on and off for most of my life and it got me thinking about why this has been the case? Now in the ‘self-help’ world most new age/spiritual/vibrational/energy healing ‘gurus’ will tell you that ‘you are what you attract’, ‘perception is projection’ ‘your vibe attracts your tribe’ ‘your energy is key’ and many more beautiful sayings (yes I am also guilty and have used some of these sayings too – there is definitely some truth to them, depending on the context of situation – it’s a double edged sword!) and on the whole, they are mostly correct, because universal energy is key to the perpetual motion of the environment/world/multiverse we live in.
We have a saying in my language (Gujarati), which, when literally translated means, “if you have jaundice in your eyes, then the whole world will look yellow”, and on the most part I do agree with this, it’s that age old adage of glass half full or glass half empty, perspective! I, along with many other I know, would actually say who gives a fuck if it’s half full or half empty, be grateful you have a glass and there’s something in it! But again I digress….so this whole concept of attracting what you are is a rather fetching idea, especially when you can use “the law of attraction” to manifest some supercool things in your life, BUT…yes there is a but…there is a downside to it too…..if I’m attracting positive stuff (Yeay me!) I can also sometimes move away from my conscious and mindfulness way of living and find that I am also attracting some not so positive stuff including people, for example ‘wankers’ (metaphorical sense not literal) then as a WANKER MAGNET (sorry had to say it again, it makes me roar with laughter and I have a super childish sense of humour!!) am I, a wanker myself (again, metaphorical thank you very much!) Is there a part of me that has drawn an element of wankerness energy and am therefore pulling or pushing myself towards the land of wankerdom? Does this, then increase the flow (no pun intended – get your mind out of the gutter) of wankers towards me?
Why and how did I become a WANKER MAGNET (she says rolling on the floor in laughter again – yes childish me appeared for a brief moment). So as I recompose myself and continue on this train of thought, does like really attract like in ALL cases, ALL of the time? Or is it a case of polar opposites attracted to one another so that both the wanker and wanker magnet can learn some very important life lessons in order for them to continue harmoniously (well as much as it is possible) on their life’s journey?
Having read The Celestine Prophecy many years ago, I recall a section in there when James Redfield talks about people’s incessant need for ‘control dramas’ – for those of you who haven’t read it, a control drama is a behaviour or behavioural need we display consistently to bring about a reaction in and/or around us, through our environment including the people we interact with, for example ‘the victim’ who subconsciously, constantly needs to ‘be rescued’ and will consistently attract a stream of rescuers who will keep ‘rescuing’ him/her, or the rescuer who keeps attracting a vast array of victims because of his/her subconscious yet incessant need to ‘help’ people? The rescuer needs the victim as much as the victim needs the rescuer, they need each other to validate their subconscious control dramas, it’s how they work. Neither is categorically happy in their role, but it’s an unconscious decision they’ve embedded in themselves over a period of time (do read the book, he goes much deeper into the whole ‘control drama’ concept – plus it’s a fab book!)
Anyhoo, yet again I digress slightly – though an explanation was needed I feel! So could it be that the wanker magnet has an incessant need to ‘reform’ the wanker and hence will always search out the wankers from all corners of their life? Or is it that the wanker magnet is a person who gives so much of themselves that they naturally draw in and allow wankers to walk all over them and each time they attract a new wanker it is their opportunity to learn the lesson and say ‘NO! I’m done with your wankerness, be gone with you!’ Or could it be, on some level that the wanker is getting weary of being a wanker and wants to learn to be a better more giving person and is drawn to the wanker magnet so that he/she can learn to be a better person? Is it a mutually co-dependent energetic meeting, like a subliminal synchronicity and the only way to break the cycle is for the wanker magnet or the wanker to choose to learn, what it is the universe is trying to teach them?
So here is some advice and a few steps for my fellow wanker magnets to stop this patter of attracting wankers!
1. STOP BEING A WANKER MAGNET! 2. Stop accepting being treated like you don’t matter, you do not come 2nd! 3. Work on yourself first before you try to ‘fix’ anybody else. There is a very good reason that the airline companies tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. 4. Accept that not everyone is like you, if you are good, kind and generous (and the majority wanker magnets I know are) don’t expect everyone to be as good, kind or as generous as you are – BUT don’t you stop being good, kind and generous otherwise you’ll fall into wanker category! 5. Learn to say no without feeling guilty – yes it’s hard, but not impossible. 6. Recognise your pattern of behaviour when the next wanker enters your energy zone – what is it you’re doing? What are you feeling? Where are you emotionally? 7. Set your boundaries as to what is acceptable and what isn’t – be extremely clear about this, not just in words, but in actions too. 8. Know when to walk away and be brave enough to do it. 9. Probably THE most important, learn to love, value and respect yourself and know that YOU ARE AN AMAZING BEAUTIFUL PERSON! 10. Ask, “what is the lesson in this for me?” Learn and accept the lesson and allow the pattern to dissolve out of your life.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!